Having a child is a life-changing experience. So it’s important that both partners are on the same page before deciding if you’re ready to become parents.
Some people believe that there is a biological clock that is ticking, and if they don’t have a baby before they turn 30, it’s too late. According to psychologist Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D., a couple’s decision to have a baby should be based on maturity, not age!
There are also signs that can help you decide if you’re ready to become parents. Below you’ll find those signs which are provided by Carl Pickhardt, a psychologist who is the author of the book Surviving Your Child’s Adolescence, Karen Sherman, relationship psychologist, and Edward Kruk, Ph.D.
1. Solid Partnership: According to Pickhardt, you both need to be on the same page. There will be new differences and conflicts, so if you have issues solving conflicts without a child, it’s going to be even tougher with a child.
2. Ability to Take Care of Yourself: Having a child doesn’t mean that you stop taking care of yourself. Having a child does mean sacrifices, but not sacrificing your health and relationship with your partner. You need to be able to do all three, according to Pickhardt.
3. Self-Discipline: If you have a mindset of finishing everything you start, that same mentality should transfer over when you have a child. If you have a strong work ethic, you’ll be able to handle raising a child, says Pickhardt.
4. Self-Fulfillment: Pickhardt explains that self-fulfillment is the “great persuader.” If you want to watch a child grow into an adult, then you’ll do everything in your power to raise them to the best of your ability.
Signs You’re Not Ready to Have A Baby. There are also signs that can show you’re not ready to be a parent. According to Sherman, if other children do not interest you, what’s to say that your own child would? Is it worth taking a lifelong risk?
1. Not Financially Stable: Kruk explains that children are expensive. But he adds that it doesn’t mean you have to be rich, you just have to be willing to sacrifice certain things. Whether it’s giving up a gym membership or cooking your meals at home, if you don’t think you can do that, then you may not be financially ready to have a child.
2. You’re Not Old Enough: Research from Ohio State University indicates that people who have a child when they’re younger than 23-years-old, you’re more likely to experience depression from financial or job difficulties.
3. You Still Go Out On Weekends: According to Sherman, getting together every weekend with your buddies will become very difficult. Sherman also adds that getting intoxicated should not be a priority, especially when your child will be up at all hours of the night. If you’re still stuck in your youthful lifestyle, you may not be ready.