There’s a lot of bad relationship advice going around, so our best advice is…don’t believe everything you hear!
Although an unbiased, third-person perspective can help clear some things up when it comes to your dating life, it can just as often steer us in the wrong direction.
The problem with outside advice is they don’t know your relationship, or yourself, better than you do. We’re not suggesting you shun any advice that comes your way – we’re just saying the next time you hear these common relationship tips, consider how much it actually applies to you.
1. “Lower your standards” – According to Nicole Martinez Psy.D., “There is nothing wrong with knowing what qualities are important to you and why. It is important to be with someone who embodies that.”
2. “You need to change him/ her” – It’s important to recognize you can’t change your partner’s entire character to fit your expectations, either. If you’re trying to change everything about your partner, psychotherapist Patrick Wanis tells Glamour it’s the relationship that isn’t working, not them.
3. “Never Go To Bed Angry” – Common advice suggests you shouldn’t go to sleep until all issues have been resolved with your partner. However, Nicole Martinez says there’s actually nothing wrong with it; sleeping on it can help you both discuss the argument with a clear head in the morning.
4. “The fun doesn’t last” – The person you choose to share your life with should make your life better. Although the excitement from the beginning of the relationship will fade, Psych Central states that fun is part of a healthy, happy relationship.
5. “Talking about problems in the bedroom makes it worse” – Communication is key: “Don’t focus so much on hurting your partner’s feelings – just be honest and authentic,” says relationship expert Jane Greer.
6. “Opposites attract” – Researchers from the University of California disproved this myth and suggested we do, in fact, find ourselves drawn to someone similar to ourselves. It doesn’t mean one way is better than the other, but don’t waste your time on someone you have nothing in common with.
7. “Arguing is unhealthy” – Arguing is actually good for your relationship if the two of you are doing it right. Clinical psychologist Rachel Needle says arguing is normal, and disagreements should encourage conversation where both partners feel safe.
8. “Love is enough” – The idea that when you’ve met the right person it’s all smooth sailing is far from the truth. Like any success in life, it requires effort and hard work.